Maybe your dad is awesome. Maybe your dad is gone. Maybe your dad set the bar pretty high as the worlds worst father. Maybe you just never connected. Men are a hot topic these days. The horrible ones live in the spotlight, and the good ones…. no one ever seems to hear about. They are the bar by which every little girl measures her self worth. Good or bad. And the ripple effect a good father can have on his children can be felt for generations. And generations.

The same goes for a bad one.

I would like to talk about mine. Tim Woodard.

He married my mom when they were 16 and 19 years old. I am from Mississippi and in 1974 this wasn’t uncommon. I came along 5 years later. Then my sister, then my brother.

My mom and dad, in southern terms “didn’t have a pot to piss in” when they started out. By product of getting married so young and they literally built their life hour by hour, job by job and day by day. Working their butts off. And fiercely devoted to God and their family.

I’m not writing this to brag about my dad. I had no control over where I was born or who I was born to anymore than you did.

I am writing this because he is the wisest person I know. And one of the happiest.

Maybe his wisdom will help you the way it has helped me. I could write a book just to praise my parents (mom is a whole other blog post or 10) but these are 5 things I have learned from him, over the last 37 years. Mostly without even speaking , he just lives a good life.

And it makes you wanna live a good life too.

  1. Listen. My father has a hundred “best friends”. He is loved by everyone he knows. I think this is because he is pretty quiet and a good listener. He speaks when it matters. You hear him talk there is something to say. He is the worlds best listener and he doesn’t give you his opinion just to hear himself give it. He listens. He processes & then he speaks.
  2. Money won’t make you happy. Yes, we need it to live. And buy bread and pay for bills. And it makes some things easier. But it is not the key to our happiness. I know this because I have seen my mom and dad just as happy with it as they were without it. Money won’t fix your heart. Your character. Or your life. Only God and a lot of self reflection can do that.I never expected money to fix me. Because they never expected it to fix them.
  3. God then Family. My dad would be humble about this. He might say he didn’t always put God first. But, he really did. We were always being taught about our faith. I have so many memories of that man praying. For us, for our family and now for our kids. My dad isn’t perfect, but he (and my mom) taught me about Jesus through the way they have lived their lives. I wanna be that for my kids too.
  4. Laugh. My father laughs at everything. Every joke my husband Kevin tells (and he thinks he is a comedian?) my dad laughs at. My dad, who is a contractor here in Nashville, fell off a deck (or a roof) in an ice storm and walked around the yard laughing to keep from crying. I remember being on my first bike at 6 or 7 and it falling over and me ending up in the dirt. I looked back at my dad and as he was headed my way help me up, he was laughing. I got back up myself ! Cause I knew if he laughing, I was fine!! Life is short. Some skinned knees are worth crying over. But some of them are not! Some days can be totally ridiculous and out of control & all you can do is laugh at it.
  5. Serve. Need to get your kids in the carseat after leaving my mom and dads house? No need, my dad has probably already done it. If I need something fixed at my house, my dad will send someone over. My mom needs gas in her car? My dad fills it up for her. Need an ear to cry to, vent to, talk to? He is there ready to listen. Ready to serve. Ready to love. Isn’t that what the world needs? Less people WANTING and more people SERVING?

I am lucky enough to have married a man who has so many of these qualities as well. And while I know that there are a plethora of asshats in the world, there are also men like my husband. And my brother. And my father. REAL MEN. Standing by their partners and teaching their sons, and daughters and grandchildren what it means to be a human being in an imperfect world. And show us all how to leave it a better place.

XO

Brandon

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